TRUTH ABOUT THE IMDB

Comrades, did you know Amazon owns the Internet Movie Database (imdb)?  Did you know that anyone, anywhere, can add inaccurate information to a cast or crew list, and no one can do anything about it?  Did you know that the “star meter” ranking system has nothing to do with you, but rather the count for the films you have starred in?

Look at the full credits list for my film FIRECRACKER.  There are half dozen people on that list that I’ve never heard of.  None of those strangers actually worked on the film.  But there they are.  Clear as day for anyone who uses the imdb as a resource.

The imdb is not like Wikipedia, in that there are no officers patrolling the incoming data.

Try it.  Add yourself as the 2nd grip for a Sharon Stone movie.  Chances are it’ll be added.  Then take a screen shot to “prove” you worked on a Sharon Stone movie.  Now people will hire you.  I wonder how long it’ll take someone from the Sharon Stone movie to notice that inaccurate credit and ask for its removal.  Maybe never.  And if they do request it, will someone at imdb or Amazon really care?  Probably not.

Yet the Industry uses the imdb as if it were the end-all be-all of factual data—even if they change that data to suit themselves.

Then explore the “message boards” with comments from anonymous posters.  It’s like a bathroom wall in an urban high school.  Thank god for sites like imdb parent Amazon for making message board posters use their real name or screen name, and keeping track of lunatics.  The imdb doesn’t do this.  So you can sign in as a fake name and write something to praise or spoil your competition, or ex boyfriend, or ex boss, and no one can do anything about it.

Did you know that?

The imdb is a great resource for finding out the name of that movie so-and-so starred in; that you know you’ve seen or heard about, but just can’t remember what it was.  It’s also a great resource for discovering new movies featuring actors you like to watch.  Maybe you’re an aspiring filmmaker who has recently discovered an actor who inspires you, and now you want to watch all their movies.  The imdb is a great place to start.

DIVORCING YouTube

I loved YouTube.  I really did.  It was always there for me, during thick and thin, and never once raised his voice.  But now, the bastard is beginning to piss me off.

Back in 2006 or 2007, I was invited by one of the founders or higher-ups at YouTube to become one of the first YouTube Partners.  As a YouTube Partner, I was suddenly able to post videos of unlimited length, and I was also able to monetize my videos by allowing advertising in them.  This was a fantastic opportunity, and I would receive checks from Google every now and again.

Then I was invited to showcase the feature-length documentary about me called “Wamego: Making Movies Anywhere” as one of the first YouTube Spotlight videos.  One of the founders or higher-ups was a fan of mine, and loved the doc, and was excited to share it.  I was a great and historical honor.

Life with YouTube went along fine until I realized a lot of other filmmakers were signing up with official channels and their brands were being used to name the channel.  When I signed up with YouTube, it had just started, so I used an email address I only engaged for online Christmas shopping.  So the name of my channel was called “pipistrello2004.”  There wasn’t an option to call it “Dikenga Films” at the time.

I contacted the Head Honcho YouTube guy who invited me to become a Partner and for the video Spotlight honor and he told me that there was no way I could just change the name of my channel.  That if I wanted to set up a new channel, I’d have to re-upload all my videos, lose the view count numbers, and all that.  I was bummed.  But, I decided to just keep the pipistrello2004 name as the Channel name and figured no one really cares anyway.

Life went on, new movies were made, new videos were uploaded, and then YouTube started fiddling around with Google, and then suddenly the whole site was different.  Google Adsense, links, emails, channels, names, networks, blah blah blah.  It was enough to confuse anyone, so I just stayed out of it.  (Sometimes its best to let your significant other just act like a brat so you can get on with dinner).

Recently, I realized that the Google checks had stopped coming.  And the other day, I noticed that some of my videos were not being monetized.  I went to the Video Manager, clicked “Claiming Options” (so I could claim copyright for my videos), and then selected the go-ahead for monetization.  And when I clicked “Save” I got a Server Error.  So my recent videos were not able to be copyright claimed or monetized.  Even though all my earlier videos from 2006-2008 were being monetized.

I went to my gmail account to search my history in order to locate the Head Honcho YouTube guy’s email address.  Then I noticed that YouTube’s owner, Google, for some reason, limits email history, and because I have so many messages going in/out each year, my gmail database does not go back far enough.  So I was unable to locate Head Honcho’s email address, which is why I can’t remember his name.

You might figure, as I did, that I could just call up YouTube customer service and tell them my issue and find a solution.  Well, guess again.  Being a special YouTube Partner might sound special, but it clearly doesn’t mean anything.

There is no such thing as YouTube customer service.  Not even for the Partners.  One has to post public messages on the help boards, or weed through endless, and totally worthless FAQ lists on the help pages.  And yes, while I can see that there is such a thing as a Frequently Asked Question, I’m pretty sure that my question isn’t frequent.  How often does YouTube get a question or concern from one of the original YouTube Partners who was able to monetize their videos BEFORE anyone else was able to?

I’ve tweeted @YouTube, and posted dozens of things to the Help Boards, and while certain people have been extremely nice – none of them work at YouTube and they can’t actually help me.

EVERY major company has a customer service phone line.  Well, EVERY company except YouTube and the stupid IMDB, which is owned by Amazon.

So it is with great sadness, I’m thinking about aborting YouTube all together and moving in with Vimeo, who has been very kind to me thus far.  I can post videos on Vimeo on demand and charge for them (brilliant!) and also there’s a thing called a “Tip Jar” that allows fans to donate something small to show their gratitude.  Plus, videos on Vimeo just look better.  She’s a real peach.

In this world of the new Black Market distribution of all things entertainment, I feel abandoned and betrayed by YouTube.  Perhaps one day I’ll get an email from a human being at YouTube who can help me.  But, until then, I’ll just be thankful I don’t work there.  Can you imagine how miserable the internal bureaucracy is in a conglomerate like that when its customers are going through it too?